Inspiration & Advice

Help! Why has life done this to me?

(Previously published on 21 April, 2015)

The older I get, the more things I see and the more questions I have. While I have come to accept that life is one unscripted movie packed with a heap of surprises we often are not fully prepared for, I often deliberate on one question – Why do bad things happen to good people?


Now I am in no way perfect and do not declare myself the best person on earth (I’m not sure any such persons exists). But I believe I am at least a good person- and in my little but great life, I have occasionally had reasons to pause and ask the questions loudly – Why me? Why did this happen to me? Did I deserve this?


But then I have come to realise that such questions are in no way peculiar to me. Some people actually ask themselves these questions daily as life throws them different darts. But while some may refer to tough events as a test (of character, faith, strength or whatever), for the individual it could be overwhelming; and for some, when it rains… it pours!


Please indulge me….


Imagine the man who never did anything bad in his life – he ate healthy, kept fit, helped many charities and never smoked or drank, but was suddenly given 2 months to live due to terminal cancer. Or the mother who has to watch her innocent child waste away at the cruel hands of a sickness no one understands. Or a dedicated employee who has worked so diligently for years, only to get fired unexpectedly due to a mandatory change as the company is going burst. Or the young lady who has just been painfully duped by a man she just about sacrificed her life for. Or the wife just informed that her husband has been in a fatal accident; and guess what – they were only married for 2 weeks. Or the young lady virgin who was raped and got pregnant. What do you say to such people? How do you deal with the moments when life seems so unfair? Does anyone deserve bad? Well perhaps some people do deserve evil things. But the question remains – why do good people have to suffer, and can anyone ever be ready for all of life’s daggers? Hmmm….


My questions could go on and on. But the more I ponder, the more I realise that some things may never be fully understood. So I come to see the dilemma for what it is – one where time and chance take their toll. Where many things are undeserved but happen anyway. Where how good or bad you are does not determine how good a life you’ll have. And where by some randomness some people just have it better than others. The reality hits! – LIFE HAPPENS… to the good, the bad, and the ugly.


And so in forward-thinking, we hope that bad things don’t happen. But if they do, that somehow we find the strength and support to get through it, and that in time some good will come of it all. For if we choose to sit and demand an answer to why life seems so unfair,… we could wait forever; and it will stall us. But if we soon process the pain, accept the things we cannot change, and fight back… then we stand a chance at winning. I pray you find the strength and grace to keep going. Don’t give up!


**There are some things we cannot explain but have to accept mindset**

What are your views on life’s unfair events? Why not share in the comments box below.



© Dr Vivian O. Ikem, 2015


It's only fair to share...!

Vivian (Dr Viv) is as vivacious and full of life as her name ‘Vivian’ suggests. She is a Certified Coach, People Builder, Consultant, Speaker and Trainer with a passion for helping ambitious Leaders and individuals build resilience, rediscover their value and potential and thrive in work and life. She is also a Chemical Engineer by background (with a PhD), multiple award winning researcher, ex-management consultant with a top UK based Consulting firm and Founder, The Reset Squad. Inspired by her journey as a high achieving professional and recovering perfectionist who overcame major trauma, depression and sudden change, Vivian taps into her invaluable lessons learnt, to empower and help people reset, rediscover and grow through their experiences. She is the author of Shadows in the Mirror - The Many Faces of Depression and contributing author in Unzenable – A Guide to Stress Less and Be More. To know more, please check out the 'About Vivian' page. Vivian is also available to speak on or discuss issues you may wish to take further personally, or at events. Please use the 'Contact' page to get in touch. Thank you.

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